We Wish You a Sober Holiday (and a Sober New Year!)

But my social life? Well, that definitely took a hit. I lost a lot of “friends” and was not invited to parties and get-togethers for a while. That was almost a relief at the beginning, because I wasn’t sure how to navigate a party sober anyway. Later, it was hurtful—and when I did get invited out, I felt so awkward about not drinking. If you think about it, alcohol is the only drug you have to justify NOT taking! 

As we come into the pandemic holidays, I seriously doubt parties are going to be much of an issue for someone trying to hang on to sobriety. At least they shouldn’t be! The greatest threats will be loneliness, separation from loved ones, financial stressors, and cabin fever. Here are a few suggestions on coping and staying sober during holiday season:

1. Increase your support: Whatever has worked for you thus far in getting and staying sober, double down on it. This is not the time to ease up on attending meetings or to lose touch with fellow sobriety seekers or your sponsor. If anything, you should attend more meetings and schedule more support sessions with your sponsor. Go to aahouston.org to see how many AA meetings are being held virtually in Houston every 30 minutes. Check out ctana.org for virtual meetings in Central Texas. For a broader geographical feel, you can go to virtual-na.org to attend meetings all over the world.
   
   
2. Stay in a healthy routine: Everything tends to go off the rails during the holidays: diet, exercise and sleep. These three things are critical to staying strong mentally and physically so you can beat back any desire to use again. Lack of sleep affects judgement in a profoundly negative way. Lack of exercise means lack of energy and possible weight gain, which can really hurt your feelings about yourself. Even food can affect how you feel physically and how you feel about yourself. If you feel guilty and gross after eating a bunch of junk food, that sense of self-loathing can lead to relapse. Take care of yourself instead. You’ve invested all this time and effort in getting sober. You are a champion who deserves to be well cared for. And who better to do that than you?
   
   
3. Stay busy and active: This tip helps me the most when I’m feeling the urge to undo 11 years of sobriety. (Yes, I still get that urge after all these years, usually caused by stress.) My go-to tactic when I get the urge is to jump up and go for a walk outside. Just moving around really helps me calm down and think through the ramifications of relapse. With the increased amount of time at home on our hands, there is a great opportunity to get stuff done around the house. Whether it’s small home repairs or cleaning out closets and donating those items, little projects can really eat up some time and also give you a sense of accomplishment and some good endorphins. Reading a book, working a puzzle, or watching a documentary or movie can help as well. Nothing like some good distraction! I do not recommend going on social media though. Feelings like jealousy, envy, loneliness, and FOMO are not conducive at all to staying sober!!
   
   
4. Create new sober traditions: So many of our holiday festivities are focused on alcohol: eggnog, champagne toasts, hot toddies, etc. Whatever your drug of choice was, avoiding alcohol is key to staying off whatever you used. Talk about losing your judgement, strength and resistance! Those are all side effects of over-indulgence of alcohol. Obviously, all of those festive drinks can be substituted with non-alcoholic options, but I would encourage a complete overhaul of any holiday ritual that could trigger you. Champagne on New Year’s Eve? Why not celebrate the new year with a wonderful dinner and movie and then call it a night? Eggnog on Christmas Day? Volunteer instead to serve meals to the homeless. Other ideas include hosting a holiday movie marathon or a board game night. You could decorate gingerbread houses or go to River Oaks to see the amazing Christmas lights. Our winters are so mild, go outside and enjoy the new Eastern Glades section of Memorial Park, walk through the Arboretum or visit Zoo Lights at the Houston Zoo. The only limit is your imagination in a city like Houston.
   
   
5. Be kind to yourself: When I said earlier that you are a champion, I meant it. You should think of yourself that way every single day. Getting sober and staying sober are Herculean tasks that only the strongest-willed, most determined people can take on successfully. You are one of those people. You should be proud of yourself and surround yourself with people who admire what you’ve done. Kick people to the curb who question why you quit, ask when you’re going to start again, or try to suggest that you’re not as “fun” or that you’re boring. When you yourself question why you’re sober (and you will), get a pen and piece of paper and write down every single good thing that has come from your sobriety. Then make a list of the good things that came from getting high or drunk. That should clear up any doubt that sobriety is the path to be on and that you are a badass for being on it.